The Day of Realistic Happenings
by CrashDifferent
Summary: A few degrassi characters experience a taste of reality...note to reader, this is sarcastic so laugh!
1. The Morning

The sun was shining and birds were chirping. Was this not the most perfect day in all of Degrassi's history? The grass was green and cut exactly one and a half inches from the ground. Clouds floated in the sky. There were enough clouds to make it look pretty but not enough to make one think of rain. In the background a soft lovely sound of peaceful music wafted through the air.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."  
  
Where did that scream come from? Who dared ruin the perfect setting of Degrassi? It was none other than local student, Marco.  
  
"What is wrong Marco?" said friend of Marco, Jimmy  
  
"Why it would seem that I have woken up Gay! And now I am doomed to be forever the token gay character!"  
  
" That is okay, I am the token black guy that likes basketball, break dancing and making fun of my inept white friend Spinner."  
  
" I am Spinner, your typical bully who actually has a soft spot," said Spinner  
  
" Well if you put it that way, I guess I don't see the harm in being the typical gay character, after all every modern day drama needs the gay guy." Marco said.  
  
The bell rings for classes to start. All the students can be seen walking to class, books in arm and smiles on their faces, everything was back to normal. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and not one grass was too long or short or out of place.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."  
  
Who could it be now? It couldn't be Marco; we have already solved his problem through brainwashing and peer pressure techniques.  
  
" What is it Emma?" said Manny  
  
" My stepdad has cancer and Sean has broken up with me!" Emma said  
  
" That is horrible."  
  
" I know, who will put up with me now that Sean is gone!"  
  
" What about Mr. Simpson?"  
" Oh yes. and if Mr. Simpson dies too."  
  
" Emma the best thing to do is what I did when I couldn't get guys. Change your image and dress like a slut."  
  
" You are right, I will lose all my morals and humility just to date!"  
  
" I am happy we are becoming friends again Emma"  
  
" So am I."  
  
And with that they skipped off to class even if they were late, the second bell will wait for any conversation to end.  
  
******** Tune in next time to see what else is new. Same bat time. Same bat channel 


	2. Lunch Time

Part 2..  
  
Classes had just ended and everyone was happy that it was finally that lovely hour we call lunch. Despite the horrible cafeteria food, everyone got into the line with a smile. The whole group was sitting together minus a few who had to go to the chess club or clean up the backyard of the school. Everyone at Degrassi was intellectually stimulated and took great care in the environment. They were the children that all parents wanted, or maybe not (ominous music in the background).  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."  
  
" What is it Craig?" asks a concerned Ashley  
  
" I just realized that my father died 2 months ago and I have been acting like I never had a father."  
  
" That is okay, we have all forgotten any past sorrows that have befallen us in the passed year. None of it actually matters when we start the new season."  
  
" So I don't have to feel bad?"  
  
"No not at all."  
  
"Thank god for that. I need to concentrate on how I am going to get you into my bed this year."  
  
" I will act like I didn't hear that so that when I realize it, I can be all in your face, I figured our your plan you son of a pregnant dog."  
  
" I serve to please you.and me, but mainly me."  
  
" Let's go around acting all lovey dovey and annoy the hell out of Manny."  
  
" Sounds like a plan to me."  
  
And with that they skipped off to their next class even thought the bell hadn't already rung yet. Things weren't going so well on the other side of the cafeteria.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."  
  
"Paige why are you screaming like that?" said Hazel.  
  
"Well it is an interesting story that doesn't involve much depth and makes me out to be a horrible person."  
  
"Hun, you are a horrible person. There has to be one in every show. I am sorry it has to be you. Don't worry we will sort of redeem you."  
  
"Really? How?"  
  
"Well Marco just recently woke up gay."  
  
" Really? Now that someone has told me all the signs have become evidence. The clothes, the hair, the attitude."  
  
" Not to mention he was checking out your brother."  
  
" That too. So how does this redeem me?"  
  
" It is quite simple. You will be cool about Marco being gay and even when Spinner looks like an asshole, you will look good. You won't let him tell you otherwise so you can also pass as an independent woman. This will in turn, make you into a role model like all the other female characters."  
  
"Wow, I really am good. In fact I am great! Me, me, me, me, me , me, me, me, me. Don't we all just wish we could be me?"  
  
" Yes don't we?"  
  
" How else do I redeem myself?"  
  
" You will help a character that you have never really liked."  
  
" Who?"  
  
" Ellie."  
  
" It's Ellie isn't it? Isn't it, I am so smart. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me."  
  
" Maybe we should get to class."  
  
" Yes we should head to class. Where would we be if I wasn't here to tell everyone to do?"  
  
" I don't know."  
  
And with that the two girls headed to class even if the bell hadn't rung yet, all the while Hazel plotting Paige's untimely demise. Hazel would never go through with it because that would ruin the other wise perfect Degrassi world. The bell finally rung for class even though everyone was already there. The second bell rung shortly after, because it didn't have to wait for any conversations to end.  
  
The end, until the next chapter  
  
Tune in next time, same bat time, same bat channel. 


	3. After School

Part 3  
  
It was Monday at precisely 3:30 on the dot, when the bell to end class sounded. Everyone stood around and looked confused. If classes ended what were they to do? Go home? They couldn't go home unless a camera was following them. Whatever were they to do? Luckily something distracted their attention.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."  
  
" Sean stop screaming and tell me what is wrong because I am always here for you." Emma said.  
  
" I just realized that I am doomed to be the guy that will end up going to jail unless you can save me when you take pity on me after I give you that face."  
  
" Well of course that is the case. You are the white trash of this school. You have a bad home life which automatically makes turns you into kid you must act like his parents and brother."  
  
" Well if you put it that way. So I just continue on this course of action until the writers or you do something to change it."  
  
" Yes, however that might take a while because I am very angry with you and because of that I will start to go out with a black guy named Chris who can't actually speak English, just so we can have interracial couples."  
  
" Oh. I guess I should just act like I don't care. I have got to go back to my gang and fix their car. Because the whole gang revolves around the car."  
  
"Okay go, before you miss you big dramatic exit from the school."  
  
" It is only then that everyone else can leave."  
  
"Exactly and I need to get home to go change my image like Manny told me to."  
  
"Wow, I can't wait to see it."  
  
"But don't look surprised because you can't look like you care."  
  
And with that they went their ways. It was fairly calm again while everyone waited for the big over dramatized exit. That was until from the grade 9-locker area another scream was heard.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." " Whatever could it be Toby?" said J.T.  
  
" I have just come to the realization that I am the annoying geek that everyone hates and because of that I have resorted to being a complete ass to all my friends. I will forever be the loser of the show."  
  
" You are the geek and loser of the show. You are the guy that no one wants to date or be associated with. You have realized this and subconsciously decided to reek havoc on everyone else because of it."  
  
" Really?"  
  
" It is okay to be the loser. You will still have loser friends."  
  
" Like you?"  
  
"No not really because I have a chance to chill with the popular people because I am the school joker. I make a fool of myself so people will like me. You however, have glasses and wear uncool clothes. Therefore it renders you socially inept."  
  
" Will you ditch me?"  
  
" I might but I will then become guilt ridden. This will drive me back to you. That or you will sabotage my image with my friends."  
  
" That will make me out to be the bad guy."  
  
" Well you wouldn't have that many friends to lose."  
  
" You are right I should just accept the fact that no one appreciates me and that I will forever be the loser."  
  
"Good now let us go back to your house where I can chill with you without the scrutinizing looks that will cost me my cool friends."  
  
And with that they left the building because Sean had already made his big exit with his "gang". It would seem that this day was going just has planned and that everyone was pleased in the end. Maybe the next morning other people not previously mentioned would come to the realization of what the show is actually offering them. 


	4. Tuesday

Before we start the madness. Recently someone told me this wasn't funny. IN spite I will continue, because I am sick and tired and lonely and I have nothing better to do. Deal.  
  
Part 4  
  
Tuesday morning went like any other morning. There was the shining sun, the chirping birds and the beautiful music coming from nowhere. Yes today was off to a perfect start. People walked by hand in hand and little furry animals seemed to be accumulating on the park's edge. That was until they were scared off by the most unnatural sound known to man.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."  
  
"Terri want on earth are you shouting about," said recently made go- to-girl Hazel  
  
"I woke up this morning only to realize that I am the fat girl that can only get ugly guys with glasses, weird clothes, and messy hair."  
  
"That is because all the good looking guys on this show, or at least the half-decent ones left for the skinny good looking people of Degrassi."  
  
"But I thought I was good looking."  
  
"Oh you are, just not good enough looking for people like Craig, Jimmy and well I guess we will have to add Spinner to that list because you liked him."  
  
"So I have to be with this Rick or Richie dude."  
  
"Yeah, the only reason why it happened was because they had to give you a part this season."  
  
"What has been you part this year?"  
  
"So far, I have been ogling Marco, and was set up on a date that then let to his confession. I also appear in random scenes to convey the message that I am still on the show."  
  
" Why is this happening to us?"  
  
" Because this season, they decided to focus on a few characters, instead of the whole bunch of us due to popular demand."  
  
"The general public didn't like us. Nope. Sorry."  
  
"Then why keep us?"  
  
"Because they need a black girl and a fat kid."  
"That would be us right?"  
  
"Yes, that would be us."  
  
And with that they ended off to class to meet up with the other grade tens of Degrassi. For some reason they always seemed to be in the same classes at all the convenient times. Marco, Spinner, Jimmy and Craig all have gym together because it was useful for that one scene. In the convenient grade nine class, where all are protagonists could be found another crisis was happening.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."  
  
"Kendra, what in the heavens is wrong?" said Liberty.  
  
" I have come to the realization that I have only had a total of 7 lines in the whole series. Why is that?"  
  
"You are only a conflict in this series. You are the reason that Toby didn't date in the last season. You give Spinner a reason to be an overprotective brother."  
  
"Is that all I get to do?"  
  
"Well you might become an object of lust for Toby, like I am for J.T."  
  
"But I don't like Toby, we just have common interests."  
  
"So then get Spinner to beat him up."  
  
"Okay. But I still wished that they gave me a part with lines."  
  
"At least people like you."  
  
"I like you."  
  
"That is much appreciated."  
  
And with that they all turned to pay attention to the class because they were intellectually stimulated people who enjoy and love learning and reading stuff that intellectually stimulates.  
  
So tune in next same bat time and same bat channel- on a side tell me when to stop because I am bad with the whole knowing when to stop business. 


	5. Another time and another Place

Part 5  
  
Ah yes once again, we meet our wonderfully large cast in the ever- convenient cafeteria where all of our melodramas of teen angst may continue to exist. Due to recent events it has seemed that many of our favourite characters have sore throats. I wonder why? The air was full of exited news and gossip. This does seem to be what everyone likes to talk about. Other people.  
  
"Oh."  
  
It would seem that Ellie was above the screaming. She was as anticlimactic as they come. Plus it would be too girly to scream at the top of her lungs and she just wasn't a girly girl.  
  
"Ellie what ever was that Oh for?" Said Marco  
  
"Why is it that because I dress like a depressed angst ridden teen that I must be the one to need the psychological help?"  
  
"Well Ellie dear, the answer is quite simple."  
  
"It is?"  
  
" Could you imagine someone happy looking doing this to themselves?"  
  
"No."  
  
"This needed to be a one episode thing."  
  
"Well yeah I guess."  
  
"Therefore the writers couldn't make someone happy sad enough to do that in one episode. The public is too slow to be able to follow all that."  
  
"True."  
  
"Why aren't using full sentences?"  
  
"Can't."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Writers."  
  
"And?"  
  
"Image."  
  
"Wow."  
  
"Catchy."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
And it would seem with that, that their conversation ended with one looking morbid per usual and the other in confusion per usual. Didn't they just make the perfect pair? Well friends actually. Ah yes, Degrassi's students had finally calmed down and everything was happy again. But Wait, if that was so, what were the writers to do for the next episode. They needed conflict and they needed it fast. They all turned toward Spinner.  
  
"Why are you guy's looking at me that way?"  
  
"Well it would seem spinner that since we have nothing to write about, we must make a problem."  
  
"Since you are an easily manipulated person. You are the one."  
  
" Hey I resent that!"  
  
"No you don't."  
  
"Yeah you're right I don't."  
  
"You must start hating Marco again. Even though we haven't brought it really up since the pride episode, we need a filler. You are the perfect individual for that job."  
  
"So I need to go back to hating Marco?"  
  
"Yes. yes you do."  
  
"I hate Marco. I hate Marco. I hate Marco."  
  
"Do you like the whole hate thing.No, no I don't. You are uncomfortable."  
  
" I am uncomfortable."  
  
"Excellent. Well our job here is finished."  
  
And with that our writers went back to their cave to think of another misfortune that could befall one of our poor traumatized students.  
  
Tune in next time. Same bat time. Same bat channel. 


	6. A casual conversation

Part 6.  
  
The time of day in the Degrassi neighbourhood is a little off since some awful, awful, awful student with no respect for the school whatsoever decided to ruin all the bells that help the helpless herd of sheep * ahem * students couldn't figure out what to do with out the proper bells. They were eating at 9 in the morning and leaving the school much after the street lights went on. This was bad because most of the students have an early curfew because they are good diligent students that would never ever in a thousand years do what that awful, awful, awful student did, except to teach little kids a lesson.  
  
"Hello Jimmy!" said Craig  
  
"Hello Craig!" said Jimmy  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"I am meddling in other people's affairs."  
  
"That sounds wayward."  
  
"If you had listened to the introduction you would have been able to come to the conclusion that I was helping teach the kids of Canada, the U.S., New Zealand, and Aussieland about moral values."  
  
"What kind of moral values."  
  
"Like meddling in other people's affairs."  
  
"I should have figured that one out. Boy I can be dense."  
  
"I know but we can't be all like me. So what are you doing now to teach the kidlets from right and wrong?"  
  
"I can neither agree nor disagree with the plausible validity of the fact that I may or may not of slept with and possibly knocked up Manny."  
  
"Politician much?"  
  
"I can neither."  
  
"Shut up Craig."  
  
"You don't care about the utterly wrong recent night-time pastimes?"  
  
"oh yeah that..(insert shocked face) Craig how could you of impregnated Manny and cheated on Ashley?!"  
"Funny story that one."  
  
"What are you going to do?"  
  
"Since I have made a total mistake out of this, I am going to need to redeem myself."  
  
"Ah yes, Hazel as already talked about this issue to Paige. I redeemed myself with Marco."  
  
"I will take responsibility ergo teaching the kidlets that whatever you do you must handle all the consequences of whatever wrong thing you did. That makes you responsible.I hope."  
  
"Good for you, but this still doesn't fix your problem.'  
  
"Well it is quite simple. This problem doesn't matter, no one will remember in the next season, so not problem really needs to be fixed.I hope."  
  
"I should have known that one. Well there goes the bell and I guess that means that we have lunch."  
  
"Didn't we just get here?"  
  
"The bell says it is lunch. We must trust in the bell."  
  
"I trust the bell.I hope."  
  
"Stop saying I hope."  
  
"I will.I hope."  
  
"Craig."  
  
"Well I've got to run."  
  
And with that people went their separate ways, complete oblivious to reality because there was no such thing at Degrassi. If reality came into the picture, they couldn't work with every single problem known to the youth of today. With that everyone went to lunch, and ate.I hope.  
  
Tune in next time, same bat time, same bat channel 


End file.
